Rituals III - Calling Cards
Calling cards were mass-produced in the 1850's when printers often had
calligraphers on their staff to pen the customer's name on lavishly colored
printed cards. But it wasn't until after the Civil War in 1865 that
calling cards became a highly ritualized social grace where both men and
women used the cards at all manner of social occasions. Floral designs
were used by both men and women and cards were available in rectangle as
well as oval.
American ladies pursued their card leaving rounds according
to the rules that finally appeared in etiquette books from the 1880's and on. Featured in most Victorian homes in
the entry hall was always a table where parcels could be left and more
importantly, where a silver tray or porcelian receptacle sat for receiving
calling cards. The height of the card pile might be interpreted as a clue
to the social standing of the hostess. Harper's Bazaar reported in the
1890's that "cards were dropped by the thousand."
Men kept their cards usually in their vest pockets,
while women carried theirs in elegant cases sometimes
made of silk or leather, ivory, tortoise shell or silver.
Etiquette dictated that a married woman would leave
her card for the lady of the house along with her husband's
card, even if he wasn't with her. She also left a card
for each of her adult daughters.
Leaving cards at important homes also served as a means of social
advancement. Most afternoon social life was spent making calls, allowing
30 minutes per visit, and leaving a card at each house.
The woman of the house, the hostess, was usually in afternoon dress...always choice and
delightful. Her guests might find her busy with some elegant lace or
wool-work, writing letters, or sketching.
Like the fan, the calling cards carried meaningful
messages.
If a young man should present a young lady with his
card asking if he might escort her home, she could either
rest her fan on her right cheek, meaning "yes" or she
could return the card with the appropriate corner
turned up indicating yes or no. Or she could hand her
card to the chap she most wanted to accompany her.
- A vistor folded down the upper right hand corner
if she came in person.
- A folded upper left corner indicated she stopped
to leave her congratulations.
- A folded lower right corner said goodbye.
- A folded lower left corner offered condolences.
By the turn of the century the excitement of calling cards had faded.
With a little searching one may still find calling cards in antique shops.
